Yesterday I chanced upon a copy of The Daily Mail - discarded by Mr Bonkers' mother's neighbour (are you by any chance sensing that I wish to put some 'clear blue water' between myself and the source of this publication?). At the back was an ad for Chums trousers, which are described not only as "the ultimate comfort trouser" thanks to their elasticated waistband, but also as affording "at least 2" of extra growing room". Given that the average age of their target customer is probably the wrong side of 50, I am concerned that these men feel that it is appropriate for someone of their age to grow further. I have already had words with Mr Bonkers about this very matter - or rather his allegation that various garments of his have "shrunk" in the wash - which, as any careful laundry fairy knows, amounts to the same thing.
And of nearly as much concern is the fact that these elasticated trousers come in a beige colourway which the manufacturers are attempting to sex up by calling it "sand". Beaches all over Europe are receding with shame at such an association. Fashion-conscious holidaymakers are rejecting bucket and spade holidays in their droves in favour of Center Parcs and mini-breaks in major conurbations.
De-friend Chums without delay! Or if you really must buy some relaxed fit trousers any time soon, at least go for the lovat or navy instead.
Image scanned from The Daily Mail small ads