Blogorexia: Could A Repurposed Spoon Holder Be Partly To Blame?

In my previous post about a thumbnail deformity, where I speculated that I may in fact be a mutant life form after all, the conversation turned to possible diagnoses of this unusual condition, which turned out not to be all that unusual in fact. Of the explanations under consideration, malnutrition topped the list as the most likely suspect. Now Mr Bonkers will tell you that he thinks I don't eat enough. There are sporadic references in this blog to my rare bouts of cooking, and to the cupboards in our house being bare, most notably when I go away on my trips and Mr B is left to forage for himself, gnaw on empty pizza boxes and so forth. You see, Mr Bonkers is not one to interact much with kitchen appliances - or even shops selling provisions. On the rare occasions when he used to accompany me to the supermarket, ostensibly to push the trolley and manhandle cases of UHT milk, he would while away the time quite happily in the CD aisle as I did the actual shopping bit. Since the advent of iTunes, however, the CD aisle has lost its allure and if any groceries do get bought - which isn't often - it is invariably by me on my own.

And the upshot of this is that I've lost a fair bit of weight in the past 12 months. I always used to hover between 112 and 115 lbs (or for British readers, 8 stone to 8 st 3), and currently I am only 106 lbs or 7 st 6. That might not sound like a big drop, but it is when you are quite small to start with.

One cause is doubtless the intermittent stressful phases associated with my work - I say "intermittent" because being self-employed, the work itself is intermittent - the jobs are continuously stressful when I am doing them! But I have been doing the same job for 25 years now, and my weight has mostly stayed constant, so I reckon the main reason for my recent weight loss is "blororexia", the term for being so absorbed by the act of blogging that you forget to eat. I am definitely that soldier, for it can be 10 or 11pm at night before my mind turns to thoughts of food, and it is not unknown for Mr Bonkers and me to be sitting down to our evening meal around midnight. Being a musician, Mr B is at least used to erratic hours, and for the most part he is ridiculously grateful for offers of food at any time of night or day.

I think my own level of distraction by the blogosphere is disproportionate - and exceptional. Although a number of you "weighed in" (no pun intended) to tell me that you also have groovy thumbnails, I am not expecting a similar response here. Case in point: Olfactoria of Olfactoriastravels is one of the most prolific bloggers in the fumisphere, yet she looks very bonny and of perfectly normal size in a recent snap taken in London last week, from which I deduce that she still finds time to eat. By her own admission, she has "mastered the art of scheduling", and with two young children to look after, that figures.

But without comparable responsibilities, I can be much more cavalier about meal times, bed times, and any other kinds of times. I do partly blame any Americans out there - the fact that so many US bloggers/readers are just getting into gear with their bloggery at about midnight our time does tend to nudge me into staying up later than is advisable.

So what has all this to do with spoons, I hear you ask? Or, for that matter, perfume? Well, at Christmas my friend gave me this cute little pouch containing a number of miniature, jewel-like teaspoons. I am inclined to call them "microspoons", so tiny are they - the sort that would be ideal if you were one of those people who takes a fifth of a spoonful of sugar in their tea. Or for eating dwarf boiled eggs from...er....dwarf chickens? Are there such things? By analogy with bonsai trees, I reckon there must be. There's a project for Bloody Frida, if not.

I hadn't ever seen a spoon holder like this one. The only spoon holders I know are the metal standy sort you prop up a wooden spoon in while you are cooking. As you can see from the picture, my own spoon holder has been repurposed as a kitchen timer and vitamin bottle holder. So it willl come as no surprise to you all to learn that the moment I saw this little holder for the dinky teaspoons, my mind immediately turned to other possible applications. Now I sense that dinky spoons are not the way to go if you are looking to put on weight rather than severely curtail your portions, for arguably, dispensing with eating utensils altogether - and by implication eating - and just finding yet more convenient ways to store and transport perfume instead isn't going to help me lose my Beau's Lines...





Photo of skeleton from sodahead.com, photo of woman at computer from officialtherefromhere.com, other photos my own