Through the keyhole...a peek at some of my friends' perfume collections...

Longtime readers of Bonkers will know that I am very hot on perfume storage. Not so much in terms of their organisational aspects - one look at the various containers in which my own bottles and decants are chaotically housed would disabuse you of that notion. No, I am very hot on perfumes not getting hot - or wet, or exposed to light. In other words, the climate control side of fragrance keeping. I have in fact written extensively on the subject, going right back to the earliest days of the blog! More recently, I have also tutted in bathroom showrooms, where the stylists erroneously thought to suggest all manner of riskily moist locations for your perfume bottles - right by the bath taps, why don't you?

Well, I will rephrase that - I used to be a bit of a storage fiend...then when I had my spare bedroom redecorated the perfume fridges - for which I had achieved a certain notoriety in the blogosphere - were retired to the garage on aesthetic grounds, where they are pressed into service every Christmas for the overflow of festive fare. Today, the most protection I offer my collection in its sundry locations is relative darkness, dryness and coolness, though even the coolness is a moot point in summer, as everywhere in the house is probably a bit warmer than what the Osmotheque techies might consider ideal.

An under bed location for the best bottles

Anyway, I put my hand up and say that my own system is somewhat chequered, climatically speaking, certainly when compared with the earnest zealotry of my former fridge deploying days.

But notwithstanding my own flagging standards in this regard, I have continued to champion correct perfume storage amongst my friends (I will resist the urge to call them my 'civilian friends', to borrow Tara's term - oh dear, I just did!) And so I thought it would be interesting to take a look at some candid photos of their collections. I'd like to say 'candid Travalo photos' like on Tripadvisor, but sadly there is nary a Travalo in sight here. I wrote asking for snaps of their bottles in their 'natural habitat', ie not staged or posed in any way. In a couple of cases, I took covert shots myself(!) but as I don't plan to 'out' anyone, other than to mention their gender, I don't suppose it matters.

I will group the pictures according to location. Please assume women's collections unless otherwise indicated...here goes!

Bedroom (dressing table) 

1) Comment by owner: 'In a placing entirely determined by the cleaner, who shifts them around weekly.'

2) A particularly elegant display (see long shot featured at the top of the post), and one that is worthy of two angles, in case anyone wishes to home in on the bottles. What an impressive set of brushes!

3) I thought I would also include the dressing table of an older lady, though this display was in the spare room where I stayed - I would covertly take photos in people's bathrooms, but am not so brazen as to enter bedrooms, even in the spirit of scientific inquiry.

Bedroom (other!!)

4) This isn't technically a perfume bottle collection so much as one of essential oils with the odd vial thrown in, but it was such a novel location that it merited inclusion on those grounds alone!

Again, two shots seemed warranted. ;)

Next up, bathroom storage, still a popular choice despite my best efforts.

Bathroom storage (not around the bath itself, at least, or in the shower)

5) This friend gets extra points - and is totally redeemed in my eyes - for having a colour coordinating bath of exquisite beauty. Like those Nigella bread bins if anyone remembers them, but a bath.

6) A male take on bathroom storage! Here is his comment on his system - echoes of my training may be detected:

'Here they are...the doors are usually closed...in bathroom, no direct sunlight.'

7) And another one! Apparently, some of this chap's bottles mostly live in sponge bags, as he is frequently away on business. I know for a fact that he also owns Chanel pour Monsieur, Dior Homme and Antaeus for starters, so they may be on deployment at the moment.

8) Back to women now...A rare sighting of Gucci Envy in this bathroom! Loving the ceramic knob on the cupboard. ;)

9) And now, a look at bathroom storage, Bavarian-style. In a modern bathroom by the looks of things. Abounding in Grohe brassware I have no doubt. Ooh, I spy JHAG Lady Vengeance, NR for Her and Hugo Bosss Femme up there...

10) Meanwhile, this friend's 18 year old daughter keeps her bottles in her bedroom - a location I would also class as 'Other', as it looks more like shelves than a dressing table to me.

Messy, but in an approved room!

The kitchen!

11) And finally, here is a shot of a friend's perfume collection - in the door of his fridge! My work is done here. Why, it's me who needs a refresher course of compliance training...

The Scent Crimes Series: No 13 - Suggestive storage in bathroom showrooms

A few redeeming points for colour coordination

I am in between work projects at the moment, so as is my wont in such circumstances, I thought I would conjure up a domestic project instead, to wit refurbishing my bathroom. For I have a scratched cast iron bath that is 104 years old at a conservative guess, an extinct model of lavatory that had the local plumbers merchant poring over their catalogue of 'archived designs' to locate a compatible loo seat, plus the bathroom is painted an aggressive shade of peppermint topped off with a mood-disturbing ceiling of bottle green.

Since formally embarking on the research phase associated with all my renovation projects, I have learnt all manner of new arcane vocabulary pertaining to sanitary fixtures and fittings. Would you believe there are such things as 'comfort height close coupled slow close WCs', as well as the disconcerting 'wall hung' variety?  Then there are 'flat bottom bottle traps', 'pop up wastes', 'slipper baths', 'offset quadrant showers', 'sail panels', and my personal favourite, 'rigid risers with concealed elbow'.

In addition to studying styles and materials on the Internet, I have been visiting a number of bathroom showrooms (five so far!), because I am compelled to subject all potential bathtub contenders in my price range to the Bonkers 'knock' test, ensuring that even the near ubiquitous acrylic models are sufficiently reinforced so as not to sound cheap and flimsy.  I have also been - quite unselfconsciously! - lying in quite a few baths, in order to figure out the optimum height for reading and drinking wine while having a good long soak.  (This is all predicated on a new boiler, I should perhaps mention, for the benefit of readers to whom I have historically bemoaned my erratic hot water output and associated poor reading rate.)  The ledge of the bath must also be able to accommodate a wine glass.  So many things to consider - I tell you, baths are not unlike beds on the comfort front.

They may be empty (and partly J-Lo) but there's a principle at stake!

And in the course of my research - both in showrooms and flicking through brochures - I have been shocked and concerned to see legions of perfume bottles posing in bathroom cabinets, perched on the shelves of vanity units, and sitting pretty on the corner of baths - they are simply everywhere!  Admittedly some of the bottles were empty, but even if 'no actual perfume was harmed' in the staging of these product shots / room sets, it is sending out completely the wrong message to the public.  Anyone would think this is precisely where you should keep your perfume bottles, but of course we know better...

Niches of steamy doom

A few redeeming points for this bottle of Angel being in its box

It is over four years since I wrote my opening post in the Scent Crimes series about the evils of bathroom storage.  I am sorry to report that it has only had 110 page views in all that time, so in terms of the task of convincing the public at large to keep their fragrances in their boxes in a cool dark - and dry - place, I fear our perfume community has still got it 'all to do', as they say...

Brochure behaving badly

Another brochure - a few redeeming points for having a sliding door

It just remains to wish everyone a Happy Easter weekend - I am off to Sidmouth again for a few days, and will be back next week with any fragrant observations from my trip, plus a review of Vero Kern's Rozy edp!