Wednesday 31 December 2014

Further festive falling things and Christmas crises, plus an Excite-ing Lynx discovery!

Well, it isn't long since the tree felling and Fille en Aiguilles spilling incidents, yet I have managed to clock up a slew of additional mishaps - enough to warrant this 'festive malfunction' sequel post.

Though 'crises' may be overstating it for some of the things that didn't go to plan. Like the fact that I was too late to catch the particular brand of mince pies that came top in a Good Housekeeping tasting test, for example (Iceland, if you're curious - they are apparently 'astonishing'-ly good). But the substitutes I picked up on Christmas Eve from Sainsbury's served perfectly well in the end.

Other incidents had wider repercussions, like accidentally putting an egg in vegan stuffing I made for a friend, who was giving me some spare nut roast in return. Actually, it turns out that her two sons are currently merely vegetarian, however, it had quite slipped my mind that my friend herself is allergic to egg, so she ended up having to make her own stuffing. I have since made it up to her in parsnip and apple soup.

I also did that annoying thing - which in fairness can happen at any time of year - of going to the supermarket without the '£4 off when you spend £20 or more in store' voucher, only to go and spend £20.08. So of course I had to go back specially on the last day of the coupon's validity to spend another £20 and get my discount. Which in practice, to comfortably qualify, only needed to be a bottle of Olay Regenerist serum and one of dry white.

Back up curry that was not actually needed in the end

The Christmas meal itself - for my two dinner guests, Clare and her Man City Santa-hatted husband Tony - went like clockwork. Or a clock that is running a bit slow, say. For they arrived at 6pm and I didn't plate up the turkey and trimmings till 9.30pm. Though in that time my friends had enjoyed a pretty substantial starter (did they sense what was (not) to come? ;-) ) supplemented by an emergency saucer of something that had already cooked, to take the edge off their returning hunger. The problem was the parsnips, which for space reasons were late going into the oven, and then took forever to go golden. The turkey, meanwhile, had long since come out, and was relaxing on the worktop under a blanket of foil. It was so relaxed in fact that it was fast asleep, only to be rudely awakened by the jab of a carving knife (which Tony - who had stepped up to help me at this point - candidly declared to be 'a bit blunt'). I must say those parsnips look remarkably nonchalant in the photo, despite having massively held up proceedings.

There really is some gravy on there...

Also during the meal preparations, I managed to bang the back of my hand on the edge of the utility door and burn my finger, which swelled and throbbed for a day or so afterwards. But the main malfunction by far was my unerring knack of knocking glasses over. Or do I mean 'erring'? Anyway, it proved to be a comical leitmotiv of the evening. The first full glass (of champagne) went over the edge of the table, triggering a four handed flurry of floor mopping over quite an extensive area. The second full glass I sent flying prompted the complete removal of the gold tablecloth, which was absolutely soaked in red wine, and in turn started to drip down onto the same section of newly mopped floor. I swear I wasn't drunk or anything - why, I had knocked over most of the available alcohol, apart from anything! - it was just that there were a lot of hidden table mats under the cloth, making for different levels and an accident waiting to happen, basically. By the end of the night we were all agreed that it wasn't so much a table as a mezzanine. Then within minutes of my guests leaving I had spilt half a can of Diet Coke and rescued two tea cups that were perched at a very perilous angle. To be honest it was a minor miracle they didn't also hit the deck.

After a promising start, it all ended up on the floor.

My lack of a dishwasher could also be construed as a malfunction, as I washed up afterwards for two days straight...though that acquisition will have to wait until I revamp the kitchen one day. I was, however, comforted by the realisation that, contrary to what I think every time I open my utensil drawer, you can in fact never have too many spatulas.



So what perfume did I wear on Christmas Day, you may be wondering? Well, I did toy with putting on Estee Lauder Bronze Goddess, you know, to help the turkey along - it also has a hint of myrrh, even if it might not be seasonally appropriate in any other sense - but I went in the end with Bois des Iles, by way of a thank you to my generous donors, Val and Tara.

The other notable perfume-related thing to tell you about the holidays is that I sniffed a friend at a party the other night and was very taken with the discreet woody oriental scent he was wearing. You could have knocked me down with a feather when I learnt it was Lynx Excite of all things! Further research on the Interwebs confirms my impression that Excite is punching above its weight. The men on Basenotes also give it a thumbs up. I was certainly impressed at the olfactory gentrification of this hitherto cheap and cheerful 'yoof' range. Excite (just based on my hazy recall of my friend's neck) reminded me a little of a lighter version of L'Occitane's Eau des Baux, which I encountered in Germany earlier this year. The perfumer is Ann Gottlieb and this is all I could find by way of description - on Amazon!:

"This sophisticated scent starts with a clean and fresh leafy green accord, then develops to smoother, caramel based notes and finishes with woody base notes, laced with amber and vanilla." 


Source: lynxeffect.com

So on that surprising note, it just remains to thank Bonkers readers everywhere for your interest and support in 2014, and to wish everyone a very Happy New Year! A special thanks is due to follower No 168 (Sarah), who recently replaced one I lost the other day for reasons I will probably never know. I have said it before, but I can't over-emphasise how nice it is to see the avatar of a new follower pop up in my side bar. As I understand it, you still have to consciously follow a Blogger blog to be counted amongst its official audience, so I do appreciate people taking that extra step.

Clare & Santa-Tony, a born again Man City fan who almost matches the sofa





38 comments:

Carol said...

And here I thought the table had fallen apart and that is why you all ended up on the floor.
Happy new year, dear Bonks! XOXOX

Vanessa said...

Hi Carol,

Oh my, now that would have been a disaster all right! I love my table with a vengeance.
The happiest of new years to you too! I also have a woolly proposition for you, which I will PM you about... xxx

Tara said...

Like Carol, I'm glad it wasn't a table collapse after all - more of a case of topographic trouble :)

Lovely to hear you wore Bois des Iles, V. That's a very thoughtful thank-you.

Good spot on the Lynx Excite. If "The Bros" (as Val brilliantly calls them) on Basenotes rate it, it must be good.

Love how your turkey wasn't just resting but relaxing!

Vanessa said...

Hi Tara,

'Topographic trouble', hahaha. You will so get the call if ever I decide to go the guest writer route. ;)

Yes, Basenotes are no pushover, and they are always quick to diss the dross.

'Resting', that's it! It was on the tip of my tongue. I think I may have got muddled with the pastry on GBBO...;)

jervaise brooke hamster said...

Happy New Year Vanessa, have a great 2015 little darlin`.

Jennifer Croissant said...

Vanessa, Sainsburys mince pies are the best on the market and certainly better than Icelands, you see, you did get the best ones after all ! ! !.

teddy crescendo said...

That table looks so cosy and Christmassey and the food looks quite magnificent, Happy New Year.

Sun Fontaine said...

At least no more perfume was spilt! Cheers to the new year, Vanessa! I'm glad to have come across your blog this year. :) (p.s. I had no idea Lynx was a scent, and was sadly disappointing when that portion of the post was not actually about a feline, haha).

annemarie said...

You and I must be in sync because I burned my fingers twice on Christmas day on the glaze for the ham, and broke a cocktail glass the next day during a prolonged dish washing session. No dishwasher at my place either. That glaze had ginger in it, just for extra ouchiness.

Oh well, here's to a less clumsy 2015. Hopefully ...

annemarie said...

Oh, and as I ran my burned fingers under the tap my so cheered me up by reminding me how lucky we were not to be having oysters. Australians love seafood at Christmas - it's summer of course - and apparently a worrying number of Australians end up in hospital on Christmas Day with oyster shucking injuries. God's truth.

Vanessa said...

Hi Teddy / Jennifer / Jervaise,

Happy New Year to you too and thanks for the compliment about my pre-spillage festive table. For administrative convenience, may I suggest you might consider consolidating your personae in 2015?

Vanessa said...

Hi Sun,

Am happy too that our paths have crossed, and yes, that is some consolation indeed about not spilling more perfume! Sorry to disappoint you on the feline front - Lynx is a well known brand of toiletries generally, including cologne, but very much targeted at a younger male audience.

Vanessa said...

Hi annemarie,

Oh dear, sorry you burned your fingers not once but twice on Christmas Day. I can imagine the ginger stinging and adding insult to injury. And you have reminded me that I also broke a whisky tumbler of my mum's last week in the washing up bowl, one that I liked to use for gin. Dishwashing accidents are quite common in my house, in fact I am amazed there aren't more, especially as I am still trying to keep my crushed finger out of the water now the nail is off. I could wear rubber gloves, but personally I don't think you can tell a dish is properly clean till you have run your bare fingers over it.

My mind is now boggling as to what these oyster shucking injuries might be...presumably something to do with prising the oyster shell open prior to shucking? I have had Christmas in Sydney one time (1993), and I do remember eating lobster and prawns in searing heat - it all felt counter-intuitive. ;)

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year, dear Vanessa, I am glad that I found your affectionate and slightly manic (I mean it as a compliment) blog last year!

The day before Christmas I did some last minute shopping at the Kadewe adn got a sample of Bois des Iles, it's heavenly (and christmasy).
Greetings from Berlin
Anka

Ines said...

Happy New Year dear Vanessa!
I never heard of Lynx but that box looks remarkably like Axe...?

I don't want to hex myself now, but I have a history of knocking glasses over, the key word being history. I haven't spilled one in ages. Hopefully the trend continues on...

Vanessa said...

Happy New Year, Liebe Anka! Very glad you found Bonkers - there will be further German tour reports in the spring. ;)

Pleased too that you got a sample of Bois des Iles - isn't it perfect for this time of year?

Vanessa said...

Dear Ines, Happy New Year to you too! Looks like you've got a real winter wonderland there at the moment.

Axe is bound to be the same thing - I think the line is branded differently in different regions, but had forgotten till you mentioned that the bottle looked familiar.

Hope there are no more knocking incidents in 2015!

Thinkingmagpie said...

Damn, Iceland mince pies? Mine were from Tesco!!

Sounds like you've had quite an exciting Christmas. :) Got you into the festive mood for sure! I stayed with my friends over Christmas, and guess what? I forgot to pack perfumes. None. Not even a sample vial in my bag. I went scentless this Christmas. Felt like being naked...

Thinkingmagpie said...

Woops, I hit the button before I finished.

Happy New Year, Vanessa!

annemarie said...

Yes, injuries from opening oysters. And apparently there's a nasty infection you can get from the wounds as well. Next time you eat an oyster, think of the poor shucker who made it possible. :)

Unknown said...

Frohes neues Jahr, Vanessa. I am very much looking forward to see your home in 2015, although it seems like a dangerous place...

Thinkingmagpie said...

I agree with what Jennifer said about Sainsburys mince pies, they are quite superb and easily the best on the entire marketplace.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sun Mi,
You may be more familiar with the North American name for the Lynx brand -- the (in)famous Axe overworn by teenagers everywhere.

-- Lindaloo

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year, Vanessa. Delighted to be able to say that considering your Perils of Pauline predicaments. All that matters in the end is good company.
Also, impressed by your spatula/spoon collection.

-- Lindaloo

Asali said...

Happy new year. Interesting about the Lynx, which is Axe here too.
Of the things I miss about English Christmas mince pies and Christmas pudding are not amongst them ;-) Christmas pudding is in fact only topped on my 'why???'-list by summer pudding: soaked bread and berries???? But I digress :-) I think you're right about the spatula situation, I only have one, and that's just not enough.
And I think bois des iles for Christmas is an excellent choice, I've neglected my own BdI for a while, so thanks for reminding me

Anonymous said...

I need a new spatula. I have BdI. ;) CQ xxx

Vanessa said...

Hi Thinkingmagpie,

Staying somewhere over Christmas without perfumes is going cold turkey, all right...;) Happy New Year to you too, and wishing you all the very best.

Vanessa said...

Ebenfalls Sabine, and I admire your bravery in sticking to your plan to visit Bonkers and Accident-Prone Towers. The spring is a nice time - or the summer even, when we could sit outside. I loved being in your garden that time I visited you.

Vanessa said...

I have not conducted a complete taste test of different brands, but the JS ones certainly hit the spot, and are all gone now!

Vanessa said...

Hi Lindaloo,

Happy New Year to you too - good to hear from you as always. LOL at Perils of Pauline - it is a bit like that here...I spilt some tea just now, though a dinner guest last night witnessed no major mishaps other than the absence of a tablecloth and napkins, as they are both still in the ironing basket...I quite agree that company is the main point of all this entertaining, and had a conversation to that effect with another friend yesterday. We agreed that dining in one another's homes should be more informal and not fraught, because people think they can't serve sausages, pasta or Shepherd's Pie as these are too homely or whatever.

Vanessa said...

Hi Asali,

Happy New Year to you and I am glad we have clarified the Lynx / Axe connection. Both featuring an 'x' I see. Joining you in your dislike of summer pudding - texturally it feels like something gone wrong to me. I am not a fan of Christmas pudding particularly, indeed the one I bought last year remains uneaten in the cupboard. No one seems to have room on the day and I don't have a pudding eating buddy after that. Thank goodness for long best before dates!

Vanessa said...

Hi Val,

Go get one - you urged me on to procure Maltesers the other day. Well, I did try, but all the shops were shut. And on NYD I attempted to do a grocery shop in Bargain Booze, which wasn't wildly successful, though I came away with some well priced Kettle Chips at least.

Undina said...

Happy New Year, dear Vanessa! I hope it will be less at least injury-prone.

"unerring knack of knocking" - loved that alliteration :) And I should confirm: "never have too many spatulas." I need a couple more.

I'm glad you ended-up wearing a more elegant perfume then my beloved flip-flops' one ;)

Vanessa said...

'Poor shucker', haha! Reminds me of the time I was eating breakfast at 7am in Germany once and I noticed how all the soft fruit had had the stones removed, which made me wonder if there were some poor souls on an early morning 'de-pitting shift'.

Vanessa said...

And to you! It pleases me to think that at the stroke of midnight I was leaving a comment on your blog - that's a rather asynchronous - and unilateral - way of celebrating the New Year with someone, given the eight hour time difference, but it tickled me at the time. ;)

Hard on the heels of the Fille en Aiguilles ambient / object scenting trend I started, it seems I am spurring people on to go forth and buy spatulas, hehe.

Poodle said...

Happy New Year! I'm glad you survived the holidays with only a few minor mishaps and injuries.

Vanessa said...

Happy New Year, Poodle! I had a lovely time really - enough to take these trips and spills in my stride. ;)

Undina said...

Yesterday I bought three: I was so inspired by your post... Ok, just joking. I mean, I did buy three new ones and your post kind of nudged me to do it now but I planned for a while to replace my old wooden spatulas with new silicon ones.