Thursday, 2 January 2014

Happy New Year and a cracking cracker gift!

Just a quick line to wish Bonkers readers everywhere a very Happy New Year!

I have lots of posts planned, but am a bit behind with all things blog-related.  To be truthful - and most uncharacteristically for me - I rather burnt the candle at both ends over the festive period, and generally caned it, culminating in a 24 hour migraine and sickness attack over New Year itself.  I would be lying if I didn't admit to a certain amount of drink being involved, but I prefer to construe this sorry episode as 'a touch of everything poisoning'.

But today I was well enough to clean the top oven, change my - by this time - less than savoury bedding, sew up a knitted hat, and make some 'whatever comes to hand in the fridge' soup, so I feel my strength is definitely returning.

For now though, check out this cracker gift which I was lucky enough to win at a dinner party the other night!  The ne plus ultra of cracker fillers, no question. Well, actually I got a set of screwdriver tips in mine, but pleaded with my friend David to swap them for this atomiser.  If ever a more tailormade item for a fumehead fell out of a cracker, I have yet to see it...;)

David demonstrating the sleek and robustly made interior of the atomiser!


Sally M said...

First, sorry to hear of your sicky-ness, but glad its passing. I ate way too many sweet things and fell hideous all day yesterday but lots of water with floating lemon seemed to pacify my insides. But gawd! Those cracker offerings are way too cool. I only ever remember getting little plastic combs or whistles or puzzles that fell apart. Oh, and the awful jokes which still produced much hilarity, no doubt helped along my copious amounts of alcohol. Not forgetting the paper hats ...

annemariec said...

I did something I so rarely do, drank too much too quickly. It was Xmas night and I'd got through Xmas as a single parent (my 7th) so it must have been with relief that I laughed myself stupid over an episode of Stephen Fry's QI, and drank an extra glass or several of bubbly.

Not straight away, but hours later in the middle of the night, I felt terribly nauseous. This has happened two or three times before in my life. I need to remember. I don't get sick straight away, but in a delayed way. It's not just the amount but the speed of drinking.

Anyway, enough. I'm being a bore. All the best for 2014 hope to see lots more Bonkers posts!

Ines said...

Happy New Year Vanessa!

Of course it was not alcohol but general poisoning. :)
Btw, you know, my boyfriend actually managed to convince his mother (who has zero alcohol tolerance) that he is like her and can't really tolerate alcohol much which is why he sometimes gets sick the other day. :)
I have no idea who might have such tolerance as that amount of alcohol would require. ;)

Vanessa said...

Hi Sally,

Thanks for your sympathy - though I probably brought it upon myself with too much 'gallivanting' to use a word of my father's. I was sorry to learn you had been feeling similarly indisposed. ;(

These were the highest quality of cracker gifts I have ever encountered, for sure. Apparently they are from a supermarket over here called Waitrose - my friend got them in the 'half price' Christmas aisle. What a coup, I say! I am much more accustomed to the plastic comb school of novelty, as you say. There were also bad jokes included - the one in my cracker went:

"What do you call just married spiders?"
"Newly webs."

Vanessa said...

Hi annemariec,

D'you know, that is exactly what I did! My friend Gillie and I didn't open our bottle of champagne till gone midnight, then guzzled the lot in about an hour flat. And champagne hits the bloodstream quicker as well, due to the bubbles ie a double whammy of alcohol infusion. I wasn't physically sick till the afternoon of New Year's Day, and then five more times through that evening and night. So yes, it appears we had parallel experiences, just on different occasions over the Christmas period.

Oh, and I am full of admiration for the job single parents do - at any time of year indeed!

Happy New Year to you and there will indeed be more bonkersness along shortly.

Vanessa said...

Hi Ines,

All the best to you for 2014! And thanks for backing me up in my tenuous explanation. ;) Love the story about your boyfriend - he sounds like a real 'card'. Funnily enough, ex-Mr Bonkers and his musician friends, who had been feeling a little queasy in the run up to New Year's Eve, doubtless due to earlier overindulgence, ended up all drinking water at their New Year's Eve gig. So when he heard about my own alcohol-related festive malfunction, he said he was 'proud' of me for being more 'rock 'n' roll' than his entire band put together.

Sarah Waite said...

Well, an atomiser is a great cracker win indeed.
However, many years ago I also popped a mini screwdriver out of cracker and I've used it very much. In fact I rooted it out yesterday to put together a new studio lamp. It combines my love of 'things in miniature' and 'stuff that makes you feel capable without a bloke'.
Anyway, and most importantly, happy new year Vanessa, I hope it brings all sorts of good fortune. x

Blacknall Allen said...

There is only one thing for this kind of illness, want to hear It? Cynar.
It's the most disgusting thing and makes you puke so hey presto detox.

Vanessa said...

Hi Sarah,

Happy New Year to you too! And you have reminded me that I also once won a mini screwdriver - on a keyring no less - in a cracker, so a real multi-tasking gift. I have it in a kitchen drawer still - and have indeed found it useful for those tiny screws. This particular screwdriver set of which I speak just consisted of heads though, so I am not sure how you would have used them had you not previously won a compatible screwdriver in a similar manner!

Vanessa said...

Hi Blacknall,

Cynar? Sounds worryingly close to cyanide...;) Anything that might prompt more puking is off-limits. I was sick six times the other day and hopefully that's it for the whole year!

Tara said...

Oh V, I didn't realise you'd been that poorly. The result of galivanting or not, that's pretty rotten. Having to look after yourself when ill is the worst thing about living alone, I think. Glad you've improved considerably since then.

That atomiser is fantastic! Much better than one of those red fortune telling fish :)

Looking forward to more Bonkers fun in 2014.

annemariec said...

Oh no, that sounds terrible! (And so embarrassing when you know it's self-inflicted.) So champagne makes it worse - that helps explain my experience as well.

Vanessa said...

Hi Tara,

It was pretty rough - I couldn't even keep water down, though you are meant to stay hydrated when you have a migraine - bit of a Catch 22 really. And as you rightly say, being ill is one of the worst aspects of the single life!

Oh, you broke a memory bank with that mention of fortune telling fish - the little cellophane ones that curl up in your hand. ;) Whether you are going to have a romantic time ahead or were considered 'passionate' or whatever may all have come down to how warm your hand was, I always used to think....

Vanessa said...

Well, I wasn't even embarrassed - I just found it funny really - when I was safely the other side of the whole sorry business! Another friend has also corroborated the champagne acceleration theory, and I read somewhere that drinking rum and coke would have the same effect ie the bubbles are the 'carrier' as it were.

Undina said...

Sounds like a real holiday ;)
To be serious, I'm glad you feel better. Be careful with bubbling alcoholic beverages - those are tricksters.
Where did you get those crackers? I'd love to get even screwdriver tips!

Vanessa said...

Hi Undina,

Haha - I did really enjoy the rest of the festive break! I haven't drunk a drop since NYE, which is most unlike me (I'm a 'most nights' kind of person, with 1-2 a week off when I remember).

The crackers are from our 'upscale' supermarket chain Waitrose, Clare tells me. From the half price Christmas aisle - or half off, as you might say. ;)

leathermountain said...

What's a cracker? Is it neither a carbohydrate snack nor a derided working class white American with a history of brutal racism?

Vanessa said...

Hi leathermountain,

You had me floored by this comment, and I shall have to google the second possibility. I know you have crackers in the USA - I just googled 'crackers at Thanksgiving' to confirm the point. ;)