A Tale Of Four Perfumes: The New, The Used!, The Irrevocably Altered, And The Product Of A Fevered Imagination

The New

One of my favourite new releases so far this year is the new Madonna scent, Truth or Dare. I am have written about it recently, and am indebted to Katie Puckrik and The Candy Perfume Boy for keeping me topped up with generous "smadges" of Madge's scent. In that post I expressed reservations about the bottle design, which to my mind comes off as a little plasticky, and reminds me of a white "toy" altar my father bought when I was little - for himself, I should point out. It was a bit like the one in the photo, but on a smaller scale. (The actual item from my childhood proved impossible to find in Google images, which I take to be a sign of the secular times we live in!)

Then, out of nowhere, I was looking at my cheap slip-on iPhone holder and it suddenly reminded me of something...(bell is borrowed from an as yet uneaten Easter bunny).

And here is a photo of the bell donor bunny himself.

The Used!

One of my earliest posts on Bonkers concerns the citrussy chypre that is the sadly discontinued Jasper Conran Woman. I described it as a "Four Star Sleeper", a reference to its rating in Perfumes: The Guide. Then yesterday I posted on Facebook:

"There is no gin, vodka or white wine left in the house, a sorry state of affairs that is completely unprecedented!"

Later that day, through another unprecedented conspiring of events, I finally finished a bottle of perfume for the very first time, and it happened to be Jasper Conran Woman. Given my 70+ strong full bottle collection, I never thought this day would come. Stacking the odds slightly in my favour is the fact that the bottle was only 30ml, plus I have liberally decanted samples from it and sent them off to fumehead friends far and wide. I may in fact only have used up 10 ml myself, if that. But it still feels strange and immensely satisfying to Throw Away An Empty Bottle at last. And if I see this scent in Asda again in a gift set for £9.99, I will of course have to buy it... ; - )

The Irrevocably Altered

When I was in Northern Ireland the other weekend, I spent a very pleasant interlude staying with friends in their cottage by the sea. Only one of them has even a fitful history of perfume wearing, the perfume in question being YSL Rive Gauche. My friend had noticed that the latest bottle she bought smelt nothing like the previous one (some considerable time had elapsed in between, I might add).

As luck would have it, she had carefully preserved the old canister and though it was completely empty, I could still get a slight whiff off the nozzle: the scent was softer, less rosy and somehow more cloudy, soapy? and abstract than the newer version. This could conceivably be the "weird, plasticky off notes" Luca Turin mentions in The Little Book Of Perfumes: The 100 Classics.

The new Rive Gauche is more defined and sharper - juicier somehow. I note that Luca Turin describes it as "lighter, brighter, fruitier" and I would definitely agree, though I couldn't detect the metal note of the original to which he makes reference. For a perfume whose modern incarnation is more defined, ironically, it feels less distinctive!

Below is a shot of Frances, my friends' frog (who is soooo much more than a stuffed toy, if you only knew...) holding both versions.

The Product Of A Fevered Imagination

Another thing that happened while I was in Ireland was that the son of another friend, Ruth, had a dream about his mother and me. Now I was not named or identified - this young man had not met me at that point - but he was aware that his mother had a friend who was seriously dotty about perfume, such that my role can readily be inferred.

So in the dream Ruth is given a bottle of perfume worth £10,000(!) by a rich woman in a fur coat. The bottle is in the shape of Lionel Richie's head, complete with fully functioning nozzle, and the scent is called: "Hello".

I wonder if Sean - though not a fumehead himself - had perhaps clocked the JPG Kokorico scent bottle in the Belfast branch of House of Fraser I visited with Donna and subliminally extrapolated from it...

And on that bonkers note, it is perhaps high time to draw a line under this post I think and say "Cheerio".

Goodness, I'd be hot in that coat on a day like this!

Photo of Mary Karantzou perfume bottle dresses from dsgnwrld.com, photo of altar from puebla-mexico.com, photo of Madonna Truth or Dare from allfashiontrends.net, photo of Lionel Richie perfume bottle by Ruth Graham, photo of woman in fur coat from digitalgallery.nypl.com, other photos my own

Bonkers "In Edinburgh": An Easter Saturday Sniffathon With Anna - "Hello", "Cheerio", And The Bit In Between

In her recent tour de force of a post on content theft, "Phantoms in the Fumosphere", Tarleisio wrote (and once again, I swear I am not scraping, but quoting!):

"In Internet social interaction, it is a general rule of thumb that 90% of any given group in any given setting will enjoy the online content they have access to. They will enjoy it, they may even share it with each other. That’s all they do. Nine percent more will comment and interact with…the one percent who actually provide that content..."

As many of you know, Anna in Edinburgh is one of those nine percent, who follows a number of perfume blogs and interacts with their writers by leaving a comment on nigh on every post she reads, or that is my impression. A delightfully whimsical, pun-rich, alliterative and witty comment to boot. In short, Anna is a blogger's dream reader, and I was lucky enough to finally get to meet her in Edinburgh last Saturday.

Mindful of the fact that I had had trouble spotting Tara outside Harrods in January - who said she would be wearing a "dark grey wool coat" (of which I only retained the word "grey"), so that when, at the exact moment of our appointed meeting, a dozen grey-coated women didn't hove into view, I was royally flummoxed - Anna thought she would leave no margin for error, and donned a cream mac adorned with red poppies atop black stems. Armed with this titbit of sartorial intelligence, and the additional info that Anna was short, with brown hair tied back in a pony tail and glasses, I was confident that my sister-in-law Hazel and I would have no bother picking her out at the main entrance to Jenners (Edinburgh's most famous department store, now owned by the House of Fraser group). Well, that was always assuming we had correctly identified which WAS the main entrance....we had, and Anna's coat, with its cheery splashes of colour, was unmistakable.

Introductions over, we headed for the perfume section, where the assistants let us browse at our own pace, and even allowed me take a few photos - contrary to the store's policy - so a big thumbs up to them for that!

We loitered happily at the fixtures for some time, and had as much fun joking about the names and presentation of some of the scents on display as we did actually sniffing them. Hazel in particular, who is still only just the wrong side of "normal" in terms of her own budding interest in perfume, brought a refreshingly down to earth perspective to the topic.

"'Forbidden Euphoria'? 'Euphoria' will always be a shrub to me."

"'Eternity Moment'? That's a contradiction in terms!"

"You like Esprit d'Oscar? Sorry - I just get marzipan...yes, it is channelling Battenberg cake."

Then thanks to Anna, we also identified yet another "perfume delivery system" to add to the list that Tara and I compiled on our visit to Harrods. For when she tested the indeterminate fruity pink floral that Signorina by Ferragamo turned out to be, she sprayed the tester in the air, stepped back for a second, before leaning into the fragrant cloud.

We also discussed Jean Paul Gaultier, which I have gone on record as saying is the house which could put me off perfume for ever if I was condemned only to wear fragances from its range. Whereupon Anna revealed that she had "dithered about Fragile", strangely drawn to its kitschy snow globe presentation. Basenotes members may recognise Anna's screen name over there of Kitsch!

Then we had a bit of a snigger about Kokorico, with its strange, un-PC black head bottle in a Le Creuset casserole tin. Anna held the bottle side on for me to photograph, demonstrating that it does indeed look like the trademark JPG torso (of Classique) from this angle.

Next up, I found myself reeled in by the make up counters, and Anna and Hazel kindly withdrew to one side while I had a lipstick makeover at the Bobbi Brown counter (Nude Rose topped with Rose Gold gloss). Well, I say lipstick makeover...having done my lips, the SA muttered something about my cheeks needing a bit of colour, and just as she was about to apply blusher, reached first for some kind of primer and foundation "to even it all out a bit", meaning the skin on my cheeks, I expect. Oh dear, I thought. The SA probably felt uncomfortable letting me walk out with even these minor touch ups, and was probably itching to slather me in full coverage foundation, building it up to at least three coats, before popping me in a kiln dryer for half an hour or so.

While I was gone, Anna and Hazel got talking about their mutual love of knitting and wool. It turns out that all three of us collect wool, and enjoy fondling it both in shops and at home - a practice for which Hazel coined the term "wool worrying". It was agreed that a "wool worrying session" would broadly equate to the yarn version of a "sniffathon".

From Jenners we went to Harvey Nichols, and tested their exclusive range of unisex colognes from Gandini 1896 Maestri Profumieri. Released in 2010, it is positioned as a more affordable alternative to Jo Malone that lends itself to layering. Gandini even supplies an Olfactory Menu for this very purpose, though we didn't get that far in our own investigations of the line. Here are the perfumes:

Lime and Basil (sounds familiar to anyone?)
Red Roses and Peach
Blue Musk
Lavender and Gold Amber
Teak wood
Grapefruit and Citrus
Pomegranate and Incense
Orange Blossom and Leaves

I tried all of these on card, and the last two (my favourites) on skin. The Orange Blossom and Leaves was promisingly bright and juicy to start with, but went a bit sharp and indolic later on. The Pomegranate and Incense was reminiscent of JM Pomegranate Noir, and while pleasant, didn't blow me away.

Next door to the Gandini counter was Armani, where we sampled the new Armani Privé release, Figuier Eden. The SA told us that it contained notes of papaya, melon and fig, yet it managed to smell rather like Philosykos and was generally extremely soft and subtle. More so than PG Bois Naufragé, say, so on balance far too quiet to warrant the high price tag. According to Now Smell This, the notes are as follows (which I could much more readily believe!):

Notes: bergamot, mandarin, pink pepper, tea accord, green fig accord, iris and amber.

We were also informed somewhat tantalisingly that the next fragrance release would be "a gold one" (top? bottle?), but the SA didn't have any other details as to its style/notes.

By this point, we were sorely in need of refreshments, and decided to call it a day as far as the in-store sniffing part was concerned. At Hazel's suggestion, we decamped to the cafe of the National Portrait Gallery, where we stayed put for some two and a half hours, on just one round of drinks and a cheese scone! I must say I was tempted by the "hot cross scones", which would have nicely compensated for the previous day's "hot crossless buns" (only kidding, Hazel! : - ) ), but I can never pass up a savoury scone, especially one featuring intriguing speckly bits of green matter.

In the cafe, I upended the contents of my travel bags onto the table, which took up most of the available space, so Anna progressively fished out interesting novelties for us to try from the capacious depths of her mauve vanity case.

Here is a brief summary of what we sniffed from Anna's stash and what we all thought of it.

TAUER

Green - "green Radox" (Anna)
White - "sugared almond" (Anna)
Auburn - "big whoosh of air from a dryer in a launderette" (Anna) / "bubble gum" (me)
Zeta - "hmmm...abrasive" (Hazel)

ALOHATHERAPY (a Hawaiian company specialising in perfume oils)

China Rain - instant love all round, though I am blowed if I can call any specifics to mind now! (Can't find any information on this one - Anna can perhaps confirm if it is discontinued.)

Plumeria - as above (a really pretty floral and the stand out highlight of the day!) This was all I could find by way of a description of the oil on the Alohatherapy website:

"The first plumeria plant was brought to Hawaii in 1860 by the famous botanist Hillebrand. Hawaii’s best loved flower overflows with an irresistibly sweet and enticing fragrance."

CORINNE COBSON

Love etc - "cedar overlaid with fugitive raspberry" (Hazel) / "carrot cake" (Anna)

In case it is not obvious, this was a big hit.

TSI-LA ORGANICS RANGE

Fiori d'arancio - lush orange blossom scent

Additionally, Anna kindly let me pick out a handful of scents to take away and try at more leisure from a vegan range called Dolma, based in Nottingham. I was particularly taken with the florals in their broad selection, notably Andromeda, Anahita, Keltina and Calista, and may well report on these separately, as I haven't had a chance to retest them yet. You may well ask what ingredients are omitted in a vegan scent, given that animal-derived musks have largely been supplanted by synthetics. Anna cited beeswax as one example, while the leaflet accompanying the discovery set takes adds that animal substances such as ambergris, castoreum, civet and musk are strenuously avoided, pointing out that some expensive perfumes still use these in low concentrations.

By 5pm or so, Anna and I were both sniffed out, and we walked back together to a bus stop close to my B & B, from where she could catch a bus home. (Hazel had left us mid-way through the cafe session, having done well to have stayed the course as long as she did in the company of two hardcore fumeheads!)

After a parting hug, I set off across the road and realised that in our final exchange Anna and I had said what a good time we had had, and maybe the word "Goodbye" had even been uttered - I can't be sure now. Crucially, however, I forgot to ask Anna point blank if she would grace my ear with her signature sign off of "Cheerio".

Later that evening, I received a lovely email from her, entitled "Happy Easter, and travel safely back to Bonks central", and which ends on that immortal word:

"cheerio (which I forgot to say!)

Anna"

And look - the "in Edinburgh" is missing for the first time! But not to worry, for now I have met this most charming and supportive of blog-reading perfumistas, I shan't forget her exact location - or the fun afternoon the three of us spent together - any time soon...

Photo of Armani scent from Fragrantica, other photos my own