Thursday, 10 January 2013
Playing Siri Games - My Not-So-Smartphone's Sorry Attempts To "Talk Perfume"
"I enjoyed whiffs of indolic sillage" I dictated, taking care to enunciate clearly, as Siri works best if you speak as though you are in an elocution lesson. If you mumble, it won't have a hope in hell.
Despite my efforts to speak clearly, Siri rendered this sentence as:
"with supervision Daleks village"
...which prompted me to laugh out loud, even if it did nothing to get the email done.
So today for a laugh, I decided to speak the names of some iconic perfumes into Siri and see what it made of them...To this end I fetched up a Daily Mail article entitled "The 20 Best Ever Perfumes", to randomise the exercise basically, so no one could say that I deliberately picked tricky names that Siri would be predisposed to massacre. That said, as you will see below, Siri doesn't do too well with anything perfume-related. I think it may well be because Siri doesn't speak any French whatsoever, and some of the most classic fragrances and their houses are of course from France.
But anyway, here goes - these are the undoctored results - and I promise I wasn't mumbling.
CHANEL NO 5
"SHM.HA Shimano closed at 48.98 euros 14 Nov 2012 down 9.88 euros or 16.79%"
Does Siri mean the manufacturer of cycle gears?
SHALIMAR BY GUERLAIN
"I don't know what you mean by 'Shalimar by Geller'. How about a web search for it?"
So I hit the button "search the web"... and the top result on Google was:
"17 year old Equitation - The Capital Challenge Horse Show", in which a horse called "Ellie de Shalimar" appeared to have entered.
L'AIR DU TEMPS BY NINA RICCI
"I don't understand 'Leading Trump I nearly', but I could search the web for it."
This search led to a couple of contrasting results, one featuring a gambit in card games - "Leading Trump in Defense" - and one to do with Donald Trump!
JOY BY JEAN PATOU
"Sorry, I can only look for businesses in the United States, and when you're using US English."
POISON BY CHRISTIAN DIOR
"I don't know what you mean by 'Waiting Bagleys'. How about a web search for it?"
The web search brought up the website of Bagley's Poplar Ridge Vineyard.
EAU DYNAMISANTE BY CLARINS
"Sorry, I couldn't find 'Codeine in me' in your music."
Oops, what would Clarins make of that?? : - )
J'ADORE BY CHRISTIAN DIOR
"Schedule by Christine Dall. When is your event?"
I could go on, but I think you get the idea...
So to anyone reading and in possession of a Siri-enabled (I use the term loosely) iPhone, I would LOVE to hear your best - as in worst, and funniest - results using Siri to speak the names of your favourite perfumes. Or any perfumes indeed, of whose names you think it might have even half a chance of making a decent fist.
Oh, I should just try Patou's Sira des Indes, shouldn't I? Siri might just take it for a relation.
Nope - but close..."SIRI DAYS AND". This time I skipped the web search...
Photo of Siri logo from zdnet.com, photo of dalek from Wikimedia Commons via Peter Trimming, photo of Donald Trump and Shimano gears from Wikipedia, photo of Bagley's Vineyard from rburks.com