Slippery Snippet

So the new moisturising régime is going pretty well, I'd say. This week I squeezed the final dregs out of a tube of DKNY Gold body lotion (I had had it for some years, admittedly), and also finished a bottle of Vaseline Intensive Care Aloe Vera lotion that I bought as a cheap alternative to after-sun for our last foreign holiday. That would be 2007, then. Which all feels very satisfying - why, I am getting through my moisturiser collection faster than I can drain a 1ml vial of perfume...(separate post on that subject follows shortly.)

Then the other night I decided to do each leg in a different cream - just because I could. Now I may not use moisturisers very often, but I do like buying them - T K Maxx is an endless source of bargains, for example - though the two I applied on the occasion in question were both gifts:

Clarins Eau Ressourcante Crème Corps Veloutée

B Never Too Busy To Be Beautiful Cocktail Body Lotion

Velouté? That's a word I associate with cooking sauces (the ones I don't make), and also mushroom soup, for some reason. Aha, that will be why. So the Clarins went on one leg and it was rich and luxurious and smelt of the sea and saunas. It just goes to show how long it is since Mr Bonkers and I had a bucket and spade holiday, because the cream contains Sarsaparilla, Hibiscus, Robinia and Longan, and apart from a vague notion that Hibiscus has red flowers and fetches up in most flavours of herbal tea, I can't visualise any of these ingredients. And I thought Sarsparilla was a place in Texas.

The Cocktail body lotion has ylang ylang in it, which I love, and a curious diesel/paraffin odour, which I don't. I have heard this note variously described as "germolene", "moth balls", and "chemicals". This may be why the pot is still almost full after a year, athough the purple label and lid coordinate nicely with my Roja Dove candle and the Paul Klee print on the bedroom wall.

Like the Clarins, Cocktail is sumptously thick, though it felt a bit drier on application than I remembered. Then to my surprise I found a Best Before date on the base - 25.10.10 - which is Monday! Well, I have never come across that before. I thought moisturisers were only unfit for use when they had separated into oily puddles, oozing brown fluid. And certainly when they start to grow fur.

There is no way I shall be able to use this 175g tub by Monday, though I will give it my best shot, diesel fumes or no. And even after that it is probably still fine - as in not posing a health hazard - it may just have less of a hydrating effect.

The next morning I asked Mr Bonkers to sniff each leg and tell me what he thought of their residual scents. He doesn't like bending at the best of times, but submitted to the task and pronounced both limbs to be perfume-free. "They smell a bit sweaty, mind."

So clearly I need to wash more, then moisturise some more. I am clearly getting the hang of this skin care lark.




Photo of octopus from Wikimedia Commons, photo of soup from diglounge.net, photo of Paul Klee print from Amazon, photo of Cocktail from company.co.uk